The Star

Tonight the sky was beautiful. More than beautiful- breathtaking.

God is like the stars in the sky. Sometimes they are so easy to see- and they grab your attention with a shooting star or a crystal clear sky. However, sometimes you can’t see them at all, with a fuzzy vision disguised in a cloudy sky. Just because you lose sight does not mean that they aren’t always there.

Just a thought.

All I Ever Wanted

Summer. The older I get the more I anticipate it, however, it is never as good as it was when I was young without a care in the world except for maybe I had a book to read, or what I was going to pack to go to the beach. Today my little sister turns 15- which means she will be on the road. She told me yesterday how good of a driver she is, and I told her I thought I was a good driver even at 17- but I wasn’t. I miss the oblivious vision that I had when I was her age, it’s so precious.

Being sick- with food poisoning followed by colitis- made me more aware than I could have imagined. My family was truly concerned about me, who reached out to people I don’t even know. The power of prayer is incomprehensible, and at a time that I was lost it made such a difference. Ever get where you are almost forgetting about God? And that he is giving you breath every minute of every day? I hate how I can get caught up with my own selfish life and forget the most important person in my life. My father told me about everyone at work, whom I have never met, who were praying for me and asking how I was recovering. When I went to church this Sunday everyone gave me a hug and told me they’d been praying for me and asked how I was doing. It was so touching that I couldn’t help from crying. So many people are there for you if you only ask. I love how God mysteriously pulls me back to him when I least expect it.

Having a week off to spend in Decatur has been nice so far. I got to spend time with William and Lauren, who are happily engaged now. I got to go to Atlanta with Davis to see Dane Cook. Although Dane really disappointed me it was amazing because Davis and I got to reconnect. Long distance relationships can really take a toll on you if you can’t communicate well. When I got home I texted a few of my best friends from home, and surprisingly the ones I wasn’t as close to responded and my “best friends” still haven’t. As sad as it makes me, I realize that I am not going to waste my time trying to keep the friendship if it’s only me working for it.

Kristin- I am so happy that we got to live together for one year. It didn’t tear us apart, it most definitely made us closer. I know that you are one of my forever friends that God has put in my life. We’re so different but alike that I know I really learn a lot from you. I just wanted you to know. I love you!

I forget how blogging makes me understand myself more. I won’t wait another month to do it again. Oh and by the way, basshunter is amazing. Tech yes!

Endless Time

So, I’m sitting here. Dad’s reading the newspaper, little sister is playing with the new kitten, and Mom is doing the laundry. It couldn’t be any more commercial than that, but I’m really not ready to leave. I had so many plans for the past week while I was at home for my ONLY break this summer. Yet, I’ve painted a little (including my toenails), read only a little, layed out none, ran only a little, and slept a whole lot. Waste of my time? Possibly. What anyone would do for more time. Just to freeze time for a few hours, but that’s only my wishful thinking.

Ya’ll should see the kitten. She is a doll. Today when we got home from Tunica she started running around upstairs…..and fell off our balcony (10 feet up) onto the hardwood floor. She now has 8 more lives. I want to keep her, although my dad won’t let us. We will see.

ps. I JUST SOLVED MY FIRST RUBIX CUBE! YAY!

…Well, since that was a little over a week ago and I forgot the post, I should clear few things up. The kitten is gone, and she was a he. Oops! Class was canceled today, which really threw me off. I’m headed to Greenville for the weekend…hopefully all the girls won’t be as stuck up as I’m expecting. We shall see.

Last weekend was one of the most amazing weekends of my life. Literally Kristin, Anne-Marie, Katie and I looked on weather.com to find a sunny place for the weekend. Anne-Marie has a mountain house  in Virgina….and we took off. All I can say is Strawberry Fields will never be forgotten. The ticks on the other hand, will be. A much needed time away from everything. If it wasn’t over 8 hours away, I would probably go all the time. Just wanted to share with everyone if you want to be outdoors in a beautiful place…try VA! Picture isn’t edited!

What I’ve Learned

9 months. Freshmen year. Auburn University.

1. Stay away from boys with girlfriends.

2. You’ll find out who your true friends from high school are, the few you kept touch with are the keepers.

3. 1000 dollars a semester is possible to spend on food and coffee.

4. Define yourself, or others will do it for you.

5. Everyone is nice on game day. Just say War Eagle.

6. Not all sorority girls are the same, stereotypes are lame.

7. Everyone is from somewhere different, sometimes they’ll have good influences. Sometimes not.

8. You can have too much Pita Pit.

9. You can never have enough Einsteins. Even if they know your name there.

10. Some professors are literally the devil.

11. And some are AWESOME! flicka flicka yeah.

12. Dorm rooms are small, but they eventually feel like home.

13. Walking home from the library at night isn’t as scary as you would think.

14. Terrell’s is where it’s AT. but don’t go crazy on breakfast buffet night.

15. Not having a cerfew gives you an unexplainable freedom.

16. Study hours will literally make you go insane. As well as 8 AM classes.

17. Apparentley, saving liquor bottles and displaying them makes you cool.

18. Drama still happens in college, just like it did in high school.

19. If someone warns you that a guy is a player, BELIEVE THEM.

20. Eating alone is probably one of the most awkward things to do.

21. Dining hours on campus….suck.

22. People will never realize that we are all created equal, don’t let anyone make you feel inferior.

23. You will never, ever forget about a lost friend.

24. Spring Break doesn’t have to be all about drinking.

25. People can be sketchy, just don’t be surprised.

26. Not having your family and close friends just to hug sometimes can be rough.

27.  If you are allergic to poison ivy, watch out!

28. Dorm heating/cooling  is awful to say the least.

29. Facebook  can be the biggest hinderance ever when you should be studying.

30. Some people waste a day readying FML.

31. Stacks has the WORST iced coffee possible, stay away.

32. Outtakes muffins might be molded, so seriously inspect before buying.

33. If you ever take Chem I, Parish will say OKAY on average of about 80 times per lecture.

34. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t find a church right away, God will bring you to it in time.

35. Dancing around the room to crazy loud music acting like an idiot will make you 100 times happier.

36. Always always always take advantage of free food!

37. Doing laundry sucks a lot more when you have to carry it FAR away.

38. The drunk bus is ballin but sometimes slow.

39. Get to know your professors, it might pay off at the end of the semester.

40. Auburn Christmas lights will put the biggest smile on your face.

41. Aubie is at every school event.

42. Go to class, or it will come back and kick you in the butt.

43. Pledge swaps are probably one of the funniest memories, go if you can!

44. NEVER DRINK THE HUNCH PUNCH.

45. A lot of people you know will get fat. Use the Student Act, it’s pretty nice.

46. Cancun’s is a fun mesican resturant…which means they usually don’t i.d.

47. Go out and have fun if you’re too stressed. Thirsty Thursday man!

48. Rain boots and umbrellas can make life much easier.

49. Jam City Jam Fest is amazing, go.

50. Time will fly. ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF YOUR TIME.

And just for good measure…

51. You will want a dog after seeing people out walking their precious best friends.

Good Karma

I am excited to get back on a normal sleeping schedule, this lack of sleep is causing me to act more strange than usual. Kristin is sleeping as usual, while I am up. I am happy that it is official, we get to live together half of the summer more late nights dancing around the room listening to Aqua. Hopefully we’ll stop with the ble ble ble though.

I ate so much tonight that I threw up. Gross huh. Breakfast buffet was a little much, and I definitely paid the consequences. But on the bright side someone left a beautiful wooden shelf in the lobby to any loving home. So thanks to Kristin, Heather, her little sister, and I…I now have a new shelf for my dorm next year. Carry that thing wasn’t so easy, thanks yall!

This is much less insightful than I had anticipated, however, I am exhaused. I need to be putting my energy into studying for my music final tomorrow. I had to get on though and invite Britt and Heather to start their own blogs, this way we can keep in touch no matter where we end up.

Searching

So I’m not really sure how to begin a blog, but I guess this is the way I am choosing. Life as I know it is about to change. For the past 9 months I’ve been living Mollie Hollifield dorm at Auburn, and I’m not quite yet ready to leave. However, not leaving isn’t an option for me. Living with one of your close friends does not always tear you apart, despite what everyone told me. Kristin has become my best friend over my time at Auburn, and living with her couldn’t have been any more amazing. Adjusting to living on your own is harder than I could have imagined. Peer pressure to go out and get drunk is everywhere in a college town. I definitely made some wrong decisons, but I think I made a few good ones along the way too. I feel like the more I’ve tried to figure out what I want, the more confused I get. Maybe I’m bipolar, maybe I’m just indecisive, I just can’t seem to hold onto any one person.

Instead of finishing my research paper I have to turn in 6 hours, I am desperately trying to find some truth. I’ve gone through so many things this year, I am just trying to learn from my mistakes so I will stop being so ignorant sometimes. I fell into…some kind of trance I guess I would call it. Trying to find someone to fill a void in my life instead of relizing that I am completely capable of making myself happy all by myself. I lowered my standards just to have someone there, let me just say…REALLY bad mistake. After visiting my Aunt Tammy last weekend in Atlanta I got a lot of things off my chest that I’d been holding in. Mostly about my uncle that I was holding in. She told me that I am responsible for waking up each morning and making myself smile, not relying on a stupid boy. Easier said than done when I’ve constantly had a boy in my life since I can remember. I find life a lot scarier in general not having that someone there just in case I need to be picked back up. Regardless, I am going to try my best.

The walls are bare now, only 4 more nights here. I can’t believe how time flys by. A week ago I could have sworn I was lying on the floor in my closet taking to a boy about the stars on a summer night. A few days ago I fell in love with Auburn after walking on campus for 10 minutes and knew God had plans for me here. Yesterday I walked away from my parents and sister on my own, ready to take on the world. It’s so unbelieveable, I’ll be 20 this year. And that scares the hell out of me. The krutch of accepting my mistakes because I’m only a stupid lost teenager will be gone. But I don’t want to grow up. I will find a way to keep my youth somehow, even if its only through having my collection of animated Disney movies. Watching Nemo and eating KitKat’s will always make me unbelievely happy.

Blogging is pretty nice. Even if no one reads it, it makes life seem more real. And that’s enough for me.